Online or Offline?

After losing the girl of his dreams in the crowded subway of New York, the guy finds her again by setting up a website. How long did it take to find her amongst New York’s 8 million inhabitants? Four days.

When the Mars Phoenix Lander struck ice on the desolate Mars landscape, how long did it take thousands of people to know about its amazing discovery? Within minutes. The “Mars Phoenix Lander” tweeted.

In this digital age, online social networking platforms have made it easy to spread the news and reach out to people in—or in the case of the Mars Lander—out of this world. Adding a new “friend” requires only a click; an invitation to a store opening shortened to 140 characters.

Today’s networking, it seems, is becoming more focused on the breadth of our connections. According to Seth Godin, a well-known marketing blogger, the metrics put in place by online networking platforms (number of friends, “followers”, etc.) may be shaping the way we keep track of our relationships, that we tend to forget the true nature of those connections. (Source: Q&A at the Inc. 5000 Conference)

That being said, are the connections we’re building now online still as meaningful and intimate as the ones nurtured “traditionally” (i.e. face-to-face)?

Distance between Online Friends. An interesting study by scientists from Harvard University and UC San Diego on how happiness spreads in social network, found that geographic proximity is a key factor. The study states, “"A happy friend who lives within a half-mile makes you 42% more likely to be happy yourself. If that same friend lives two miles away, his impact drops to 22%. Happy friends who are more distant have no discernible impact". Is this study a further proof that networking in an online world, where face-to-face encounters are very limited, is less effective? (Source: "Your Whole World Smiles with You", LA Times)

Number of Online Friends. Another study that may suggest the ineffectiveness of online social networks is that of Dunbar’s number. A few years ago, anthropologist Robert Dunbar hypothesized that the cognitive power of the brain limits the size of network a person can develop to approximately 150 people. Beyond that, it gets harder to nurture real relationships. (Source: "Primates on Facebook", The Economist)

Level of Interaction amongst Online Friends. Some people question how online social networks contribute to relationships when topics are mostly the mundane (and sometimes, too mundane). Furthermore, socializing online is seeing the rise of parasocial relationships, where people observe someone online but don't really know the person. (Source: "Brave New World of Digital Intimacy", The NY Times)

According to the article “Brave New World of Digital Intimacy”, what we’ve seen with online social networking is an explosion of weak ties. While this is good (job connections! :o)), online social networking does not seem to help transition these weak ties to a more intimate relationship.

In a speech given by Stefana Broadbent, ethnographer and cognitive scientist, she stated that the people we interact with online are more or less the same set of people we interact with offline. Her statistics: In Facebook, an average person’s network is approximately 120 friends, but he/she only has regular exchange with 4-6. An average person has around 100 buddies on his/her buddy list in online messengers, but he/she ends up usually chatting with 2-3 people. Eighty percent of a person’s phone calls are made to 4 people. When one looks into Skype, this figure goes down to 2 people. (Source: "How the Internet Enables Intimacy", TED Talks)

She sums up this phenomenon wryly, “I've been disappointed, sometimes, when I see the data. All this deployment for only 5 people.”

But before we write off online social networks as a mere distraction, it can still positively affect core relationships as they help core ties become stronger. The constant flow of seemingly mundane information may lead to meaningful face-to-face interactions, because when friends meet up, it is like taking up an unfinished conversation from online. Small talk is “eliminated” and friends quickly deep dive into the important stuff. (Source: “Brave New World of Digital Intimacy”)

Stefana Broadbent also thinks that because of our lifestyle today--families apart due to working abroad, or a person absent from home due to long working hours--online social networking has been very helpful in maintaining relationships. She cites examples of online parenting and of families in different countries having dinner together via webcam.

Based on this, I think we can say that online social networking does have its advantages in expanding and reconnecting a person's weak ties and strengthening his/her core ties. However, online social networking cannot really replace face-to-face contact. For me, I see online networking as an enhancement but not a replacement. Online social networking is a powerful tool, that, when used effectively, can help cultivate relationships.

To end this entry, I’ll pose a little food for thought from Seth Godin. He noted that instead of tracking readers or followers, what should we track is, “Are their people out there [on the internet] I’d go out of my way for, and would they go out of their way for me?”

And I think to answer this, we’d better begin with our face-to-face networking to find out.

Jennie Lee, M10, is now offline :o)